“Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves - slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future.”
― Hanh Nhat Thich
This was me last night. Actually this morning, it was 12am. I had gone to bed at 10 but was loving Janice Macleod's blog and was starving. The healthiest thing I could eat was my yummy left over okra soup with chopped shaki and ponmo inside. Yea, real stuff like chicken and beef were already gone, so no major obstacles to my spoon and this was perfect for an 'I really should be sleeping' guilty munch. I'm going on about this bowl because as I was eating, it dawned on me that there was no one to yell at me to 'go to bed right now!'. I was grown, duh!
In recent weeks, many of my Twitter friends (me too tbh) have been moaning about 'adulting'. I'd read tweets and excitedly show Dee "babe see, I'm not alone!". We all most likely had different issues but their reaching the same 'ADULTHOOD IS A SCAM' conclusion made me feel less like a weirdo. Funny how when you're growing up, you hardly enjoy the moment, always being about the better tomorrows when you can make your own decisions but when you're older, it's about the good old days.
I remember days when I was refused Coke/Short Cake/Gogo/yougetthegist and I'd dream of being old enough to afford my own bottles, I wish someone had taken the time to consistently knock me out of my daydreaming state like "girl, soda would be the least of your worries!". I wish Nigerian parents talked and broke things down more because it is obvious that this bit of the journey took many of us by surprise and it isn't even all about finances - handling insecurities and the effects of your own version of dysfunctional upbringing, graduating and trying to determine what you really want to do with your life, relationships... I get how the stress of everyday living back home numbs adults though so parents tried for us mehn! They did what they knew how to do and I am grateful!
Anyway, now I cannot drink endless bottles of Coke for fear of diabetes and calories. I don't want to buy many many pairs of jeans because I'm actually a bit of a minimalist and hate having so much stuff. So the mundane things I was obsessed with are of no use to me now. It's the things I didn't expect that make adulting hard: realising I didn't like the things I thought I liked and starting afresh, being able to afford my life by earning through means I enjoy e.t.c. The combination of figuring things out so I don't end up a miserable sod and living fully because, well the world won't pause till I'm done figuring, has been tricky so far.
So for now, I'm grateful I can enjoy leftovers at midnight with only my guilty conscience to bother me. This bit of adulting I love :)